“Did it work?” Cloud asked him, brows still furrowed in a frown as he leaned forward to lick him again. The angel quickly grabbed him by the shoulders.
“What are you doing?” he demanded.
Scowling, Cloud replied very slowly, as though speaking to the goldfish with the three-second memory, “When Zack licked me, it made me laugh, and you’re still being mean.”
This part killed me. XDDD
You left out words, particularly in the beginning, so I'd go back and comb through the first few paragraphs.
It gets vague in a few places as to who's speaking, but other than that wonderfully written and it made me giggle like mad. XD Zack is so a little imp and Aerith is totally God. :3
Icon related XDD
“What are you doing?” he demanded.
Scowling, Cloud replied very slowly, as though speaking to the goldfish with the three-second memory, “When Zack licked me, it made me laugh, and you’re still being mean.”
This part killed me. XDDD
You left out words, particularly in the beginning, so I'd go back and comb through the first few paragraphs.
It gets vague in a few places as to who's speaking, but other than that wonderfully written and it made me giggle like mad. XD Zack is so a little imp and Aerith is totally God. :3