yaoi crossover ot4 wtf

[jukeboxhound_backup]

So I admitted that I'm tempted to write Sephiroth/Roy, just to see if I could, and shiri_matakami  and artimusdin  were all like YES PLZ, and I was like BUT I SUCK AT SMUT, so a morning-after was suggested, but I'm lazy and so did this instead, and I couldn't just leave Zack and Cloud hanging.  And am posting it because it makes me lol and because I've been putting off my course reading all day anyway, so what's a little while longer.



hadesphoenix :

Roy: *sitting on edge of bed* *unsettled but trying not to show it*
Zack: Dude, last night was awesome. LET'S DO IT AGAIN. AND THEN AGAIN. >:3
Roy: ...
Sephiroth: *silently amused at Roy*
Cloud: I'll go make some coffee.
Roy: How can you just...
Cloud: *confused* What?
Roy: You're...taking this awfully well. (For a kid, he didn't say.)
Cloud: ...Why wouldn't I?
Zack: *guffaws*
Sephiroth: You really can't ever argue with him, Mustang.
Cloud: *still confused*
Roy: You're really not bothered.
Cloud: Um. I know it isn't exactly normal but that's okay, right, I mean I think everyone enjoyed themselves, and I thought you liked coffee?
Roy: You're very...pragmatic, aren't you?
Cloud: ...Thank you?
Zack: *dying of lulz*
Sephiroth: *smug*

artimusdin :

Sephiroth: *waits until Cloud is out of the room* *to Roy* You will not be stealing him, he is our soldier.
Roy: ... *confused*
Zack: *cheerfully* Find your own loyal soldiers. <3

hadesphoenix :

Cloud: Oh shit!
Everyone: *freezes*
Cloud: What's Fullmetal gonna say?
Roy: I can think of many things, but to which in particular are you referring?
Zack: *mutters* Trust you to speak without putting a preposition at the end like normal people.
Cloud: Didn't you know?
Roy: Again, what in particular should I know?
Cloud: He likes you!
Zack: Oh, this'll be good.
Sephiroth: *watching the action unfold*
Roy: *blink*
Cloud: Oh shit, he's gonna be pissed, I mean, I knew but we still - it's not like people don't know about you -
Zack: LOL MANSLUT
Roy: *wry* Thank you, Lieutenant.
Cloud: - but still we...oh. Shit. You didn't know, did you?
Roy: *...slow feline smile*
Cloud: *headdesk*
Zack: *iz ded from lulz*

artimusdin :  LOL. Now I picture Cloud sending Ed "I'm sorry" flowers. Or something, idk.
hadesphoenix : Or real Nibelheim shepherds pies, made of kidneys and blood and stomach lining all proper-like, and then wonder why everyone's gagging as Ed plows through them like a gluttonous glutton.
artimusdin : YES. And Cloud totally made enough for everyone else to have some if they wanted, but nobody seems to want any, so hey, that's more for Cloud and Ed, right? And when Zack turns down food, you know something's up...
hadesphoenix : But Ed doesn't care because hey, free food, and Zack's all shrug-y because they eat weirder shit in the jungle, right. Except when Ed's licking the last pan clean he's gonna pause and go, Wait. Waaaaait. YOU FUCKING TOLD THE FUCKING COLONEL BASTARD, to which Sephiroth would smirk and say, Freudian slip there, Fullmetal? Little mistake? And then Ed’s gonna be all DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE.

Thus, the saga continues.  This looks oddly like one of din's and my conversations.