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Eir's Tomorrow
Omake 1: Sephiroth tends to think too hard.
No, really.  At least it's a step up from Zack's nubbins.  Written as a joke because I tend to pull this kind of shit on dina all the time.  X3

...Don't take it seriously.  At all.
 

______________

 

If he hadn’t known Sephiroth as well as he did, Cloud might have been worried.  As it was, when he and Zack walked into the man’s hotel room and encountered a blizzard of papers left on every available surface, he just rolled his eyes.

 

Now what’s shoved a stick up his ass?” Zack groaned, drooping over melodramatically.

 

“Sephiroth?” Cloud tried, sidestepping a pile of papers.  It looked like most of them were covered in strange diagrams consisting mostly of circles, lines, and sine-waves, all dissected by the General’s elegant script.  Lost as he was in a flurry of scribbling, Sephiroth didn’t even look up and continued muttering to himself.

 

Understandably, this was making Cloud increasingly uneasy.

 

“Sephiroth?” he repeated more forcefully, stepping forward to put a hand on the other’s shoulder.  “Se—“

 

You,” the General whirled around suddenly, nearly scaring Cloud back into the Lifestream, “shouldn’t exist.”

 

“Gee, thanks,” the blond muttered, but Sephiroth didn’t appear to hear him.

 

“This—none of this—should be possible,” he announced, gesturing broadly at the papers scattered around the room.  Zack had to duck to avoid being knocked into the wall.  “What you’ve done goes against every line of logic.”

 

“…What’d I do?”  If Cloud sounded like he was speaking to a ruffled and agitated chocobo, well, that was because it wasn’t common to see Sephiroth so ruffled and agitated.

 

Sephiroth took a fresh piece of paper from a swiftly dwindling stack and poised his pen above it almost threateningly.  “This,” he said, making a dark point on the page, “is a past event.  A situation uniquely confined by a specific combination of factors at that very instant.

 

“And this,” he continued, making another dot a few inches from the first, “is another such event.  We have now established a timeline in which history follows a linear path, involving a past and present and, presumably, a future.”

 

“Okay,” Cloud said slowly, wondering where this was going.  Zack scratched his head absently.

 

“According to this visual, an instant can’t be repeated.  An event is a one-time occurrence that is never repeated again, right?  But you—“ he jabbed the pen in Cloud’s direction, “managed to go from here to there.”  He drew a curved line arcing backwards from the second dot to the first. “But in order to go back in time to a past event, there’s a presupposition that the past event exists in the present as well, making it an eternal moment.  The beginning and the end become the same point, and therefore in effect proves that time is circular.  But if time were circular, then our construction of a linear history is false, and how can you claim that our lives are a single eternal instant?”

 

Cloud was hardly stupid, but he thought that a certain someone was overanalyzing things.  “Well, somehow it happened, because here I am,” he pointed out calmly.

 

“Which brings me to another point.”  A definite note of ‘ranting’ was starting to color the General’s voice.  “I can disregard the problems involved in transporting a human-sized mass through time, since that isn’t your original body, but there’s the issue of your consciousness.  How would you have been able to transcend the speed of light, even as pure energy?  There’s the possibility of a wormhole, essentially folding space-time in half so that Points A and B exist in the exact same time and space, but the Planet couldn’t possibly generate the sheer scale of power needed to produce and then stabilize such a method.”

 

“Then obviously something must exist outside of all the time and space,” Zack chimed in with a shrug.  “If something doesn’t fit, it usually means you’re missing something.  I mean, people know all about neurons and transmitters and whatnot, but they still don’t know what makes a person a person.”

 

Sephiroth stared at him.  “A Gestalten universe?  But…there can’t be anything outside the space-time continuum, especially if space-time itself is an eternity.”

 

“But there are different types of eternity, aren’t there?  Different infinites?”

 

Sephiroth twitched.  “What you’re suggesting would point to several different modes of time rather than a singularity, and if time ‘splinters’ from the original timeline to produce a parallel, it has to be mutually exclusive.  If they weren’t, then we wouldn’t be able to form a coherent progression of events since every possibility would literally be happening at once.  So we’re back to Cloud’s time-traveling being impossible—unless you want to claim he’s from a parallel universe?”

 

“Um.  Not really,” Zack said timidly.

 

“Not necessarily,” Cloud suddenly interjected.  “What if those eternities were concentric?  Look at an individual person.  As far as we’re concerned, they’re born, they live, they die, and that’s it—it’s all very linear.  But if you look at the human race as a whole, then it’s a constantly repeating cycle of events.  Maybe the timeline we know is just a smaller bit of a larger one.”

 

The stare that Sephiroth leveled at him nearly made the blond take a step back.  Without another word, the General whirled back around and started scribbling again on the paper, apparently forgetting Cloud and Zack’s presence entirely.

 

“…By the way, dinner’s ready,” Cloud added weakly.  Zack sighed gustily and slung an arm over his shoulders.

 

“He’ll be around when he’s done driving his head into the wall.  Let’s go keep your mum company.”

 

xxx

 

Missus Strife set a pot of baked potatoes on the table, and glanced at both Cloud and Zack.  “Where’s Sephiroth?  A growing boy really shouldn’t be missing dinner.”

 

“He’ll be along soon, Mum,” Cloud said, helping himself to the stewed beef.  “After he’s done having an existential crisis.”

 

“Oh dear,” she murmured to herself as she bustled back into the kitchen, “I should put a plate for him in the oven so that it’ll still be warm when he feels better.”

Date: 2008-05-10 08:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aikonamika.livejournal.com
...excuse me while I go die of laughter. After, y'know, I get finished banging my head into a wall due to the fact that I understood all of that.

And if Sephiroth is going to freak out over Cloud's existence and all, don't you think he should also be concerned about how, not only were Gast and Hojo capable of extracting DNA out of something over a thousand years old (though they've gotten DNA out of dinosaurs, so I suppose that's not as much of a problem), but were capable of bonding something very inhuman with human DNA to create a child. For that matter said dead-for-a-thousand-years thing was later capable of influencing his mind, not to mention all of the other impossibilities that surround FF7 that I won't go into.

Really, next to all of that, what's a little time-travel? *grin*

Date: 2008-05-21 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukeboxhound.livejournal.com
*flails* I wrote this thingie on the whole 'Jenova being both a psychic and physical infection' and posted it somewhere in this LJ, don't remember when, and gah. I love it all. The splicing and the lateral gene transfer and why didn't I choose the medical field? 0.0

And hey, FF8 was a natural progression from 7, considering Time Compression. XD OH THE MINDFUCKERY YAY.

Date: 2008-05-10 09:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] akalillyn.livejournal.com
That was hilarious. Poor Sephiroth! :D I love you and can't wait for more from this story!

Date: 2008-05-10 09:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rufustehshinra.livejournal.com
XDDD I just had to say, that was pretty awesome. ♥

Date: 2008-05-21 06:02 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-05-10 10:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kim-cc.livejournal.com
Thouroughly enjoyed Seph's crisis.

And felt very geeky for following his train of thought.

Date: 2008-05-21 06:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukeboxhound.livejournal.com
I just felt bad for walking out of a lecture that the prof obviously worked hard on and this fic-bunny was all I could think about. ^^;

Date: 2008-05-10 10:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] t-amara.livejournal.com
PERFECTLY funny, I was DYING over the existential crisis, then Mama Strife calmly put dinner aside for angsting Sephy... Then I fell off my chair!

Date: 2008-05-21 06:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukeboxhound.livejournal.com
Missus Strife is so much fun. :3

Date: 2008-05-11 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] char-sama.livejournal.com
Damn, I actually UNDERSTOOD what he was saying. XD I'm assuming he's taking into account the revolving path of the Lifestream and how life goes back and forth through life and death, and.... *grabs some more papers*

Date: 2008-05-21 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukeboxhound.livejournal.com
Ha, actually, no, the Lifestream didn't even enter into his equation, but damnit you just guessed a large part of the fic itself. :P

Date: 2008-05-21 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] char-sama.livejournal.com
Nyah, ha ha! XD Go me! *ahem*

Date: 2008-05-11 03:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-cybergoth-x.livejournal.com
Oh hell, geeky, funny and I can just so picture Sephiroth doing this... poor guy brings it on himself...

Date: 2010-12-09 08:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukeboxhound.livejournal.com
This is why he needs practical people like Cloud and awesome people like Zack in his life.

Date: 2008-05-11 04:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] creepy-crawly.livejournal.com
The geek in me says, "but...Sephiroth! How can you not be enjoying such existential crises? For they are the true sign that you ARE...well, insomuch as any being is capable of being..."

The FFVII fan in me just rolls around on the floor laughing its ass off.

The rest of me kinda exploded of "sporfle".

I do believe I love you.

Date: 2008-05-21 06:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukeboxhound.livejournal.com
And considering the OMGANGST that consumes him, you'd really think that such a thought would've occurred to him. Oh well; this is why geniuses can really be quite stupid.

*screams and ducks the Masamune*

Date: 2008-05-20 01:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nierx.livejournal.com
Wow, that hurt! And was really funny! Seph's freaking out and that's not normal while he's sane. (does that make sense?)

Date: 2008-05-21 06:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukeboxhound.livejournal.com
Yeah, it made sense, and that was why I had so much fun writing it. Oh Sephiroth, you make the rest of the world look either incredibly insane or terribly mundane.

Date: 2008-10-02 04:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reighost.livejournal.com
OMG *SCREAM* you have to add this into the storyline somehow! there's no way you should just leave it as an omake!

Date: 2008-10-02 06:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukeboxhound.livejournal.com
*coughs* Some variation of it will probably make it into the actual fic, honestly, but the bunny struck me HARD and I just had to write it out of order.

Date: 2008-10-02 06:49 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
its such a brilliant idea! *GRIN* it proves that some of the little boy from nebelheim is still in there somewhere *giggle*

lol

Date: 2008-10-14 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teriamckenzie.livejournal.com
Damn that sounded like my physic professor bitching about the fact that all science fiction series are so damn unrealistic. I love it *g*

Re: lol

Date: 2010-12-09 08:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukeboxhound.livejournal.com
And that's when you point out the 'fiction' half of that genre tag.

Date: 2009-01-05 05:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rethira.livejournal.com
Just so you know, Cloud's last line was excellent.

And you just know that when Seph's finished his existential crisis he's gonna be so embarrassed.

Oh and definitely get a similar scene worked directly into Eir's Tomorrow. It would be a great mood lightener.

Date: 2010-12-09 08:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukeboxhound.livejournal.com
I really should. Hmm. Possibly the stress will finally get to him and he'll start writing on the walls of the Highwind, earning the Wrath of Cid like not even Shera could manage.

Date: 2009-11-14 01:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudstrifejen.livejournal.com
Sephiroth... Sephiroth...... If you want to find logical explanation about this existential crisis theory, then what about the Lifestream? Hojo's 'tweaking' in you and Genesis and Angeal's body? The Materias? And what about the time you become 'God' and resurrect again and again? Nah! You don't know that anyway! Well, just not yet......

And I guess they're at Nibelheim where they stay in the Strife's home? Oh well, sometimes the most genius of all can be really STUPID. *avoids Masamune's stabbing!*

Date: 2010-12-09 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukeboxhound.livejournal.com
The thing is, if the Lifestream is essentially a form of energy - which makes sense, since it's not matter and is at least partially composed of 'life force,' and even if materia are containers/conduits/whatever for this energy, it still isn't enough to make time travel possible. The rest of it can be rationalized by some weird spiritualized pseudo-science, I dunno, but the nature of time travel is just...different? Pfff, no eloquence here.

Ha, seriously, the mos intelligent people can be the most stupid.

Date: 2010-04-17 05:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reighost.livejournal.com
I love this, especially how Sephiroth is working himself into a mental meltdown XD the expression on his face when he eventually breaks his own brain would probably look something like O_o *fizzle* and then he'll fall over sideways...

LOL

Date: 2010-12-09 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukeboxhound.livejournal.com
And Zack and Cloud will have to nurse him back to health and ban all texts from the house written above a third-grade level.

Date: 2010-12-09 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spossie9.livejournal.com
I love you. And, well, Sephiroth? When physics says the universe isn't working right, it's time to start looking for intelligent interference. And then get EVEN MORE MIGRAINES. And existential angst. And possible rageface. Also, gotta love how Zack jumps in -- people always underestimate him, don't they? He's a SOLDIER FIrst, they can't exactly be stupid. Really dumb sometimes, but not unintelligent. And then, right as it is looking like Cloud's totally lost, HE jumps in with awesome!SCIENCE!nerdage, and I giggle maniacally. Also, holy crap I understood most of that conversation. SO great. Much love of geeky timetravelling angst kings.

Date: 2010-12-09 08:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukeboxhound.livejournal.com
It didn't even occur to me the potential for Intelligent Design here, which is strange because I'm usually more attentive than that and could go on a long rant about ID. I'm not entirely sure because this was written over two years ago, but I think this was done during a class on Heidegger, and it looks like multiverse theory got thrown in too. Smart!Zack and Cloud make me happy.

In short, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS but I'm glad you liked it. ^^;

Date: 2010-12-10 08:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spossie9.livejournal.com
Actually, while depending on how you view Aerith she COULD be the god of Gaia, I was more thinking in the Someone Messing About sense of intelligent interference. I mean, we've got Jenova for proof of aliens in the FFVII universe, and then just how intelligent is the Lifestream after all - and is it more sentient after Aerith dies? LOTS of people could be Messing About.

Also, "class on Heidegger"? Unless your school was TOTALLY AWESOME and gave classes on FF characters, I'm assuming you meant Heisenberg :)

Date: 2010-12-11 02:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukeboxhound.livejournal.com
Aah, fair enough, and now I'm thinking of Asimov's The Last Question (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Question) and I am entertained. :D

And no, I meant the Martin Heidegger (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Heidegger) of some philosophical notoriety.

Comment redone for HTML fail, bwahaha.

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